I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize