I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
