he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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