And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it's like iHOP with fire
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I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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