But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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