she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
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i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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