Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
false alarm, still single
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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