i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
