Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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