And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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