so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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