So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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