wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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