Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
