my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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