Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
