becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
