Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
