I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
