my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
