Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
