This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Randomize
