dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I am puke
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
