This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
