i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
