so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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