is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
