life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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