I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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