I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize