I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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