I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
