I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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