Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
