if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
