Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize