This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize