Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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