She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
