I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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