We're like a lot better than the average bears
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
