Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
