Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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