i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize