We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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