Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
