maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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