Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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