So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
