i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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