i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'