By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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