I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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