Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
