we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The air taste purple.
Randomize
