That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
