So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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