He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
