peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
